How to become a Roadie

Rodies is a highly popular reality game show of MTV. Although I’m not a huge fan of the show; I enjoy watching it due to its unique concept, format, and selection process.

The craze for this show is evident from the thousands of applications they get from wannabe participants, in each city. It differs from the other reality shows in many ways. Here they are not looking for any singers, dancers, actors, pretty faces or so called “celebrities”. It’s an adventure oriented show but they don’t expect the participants to be great athlete or adventure junkies. They generally select teenagers and people in their early twenties, though this is no rule. If judges like you, you can be a “Roadie” irrespective of your age.

All they are looking for is: Rodies. Strangely, they have never clearly stated what qualities they are looking for in the participants. They just want people who are “interesting”. Being interesting or not is highly vague and subjective perception and as a result, anyone and everyone who wants an instant fame tries his/her luck in the Rodies interviews.

Their selection process involves group discussion round and personal interview with the judges. One of the judges is invariably Raghu Ram, who’s the producer of the show. He has virtually given birth to this show, so he can make or break rules, select or throw people out of the show as per his whims and fancies.

The show is made up of series of tasks, which are generally challenging adventurous activities. Based on the participant’s performance in the tasks, few of them get the “immunity”, which means they get immune from the “Vote Out”. At the end of each episode, participants vote one member out who has to leave the show. The Vote outs of the Rodies are high adrenalin drama involving politics, groupism, friendships, hatred, betrayal etc. Add some last minute twists and turns by Raghu and we have the popular game show Roadies!

The most unique thing about Rodies is its selection process is indeed more interesting than the show itself. Raghu quite literally rips apart Wannabe rodies in his own style, which is fun to watch. He’s sharp, witty, funny and has got a great sense of humour. If anyone tries to fake it during the interviews, he/she is gone. He insults and abuses almost all the applicants (including girls). Some of them get insulted so badly, that you wonder why they choose to make fun of themselves on the national television! But, that’s what the sadistic entertainment is all about, isn’t it? It’s always fun to watch others making fun of themselves!!

As I mentioned earlier, there are no predefined criteria to become a Roadie. So based on my observation, I have outlined certain qualities which are must have to become a Roadie.

1> You should be a Punjabi or a Delhiite with a prominent Punjabi accent/tone or Delhi lingo.
This applies to 80% Roadies. I don’t understand this Punjabi and North Indian (Delhi) obsession of Roadies, considering the God of Roadies Raghu is a South Indian. Bollywood is also heavily influenced by this Punjabism, thanks to Chopras and Johars. Every bollywood movie has to have a Sardar. In Bollywood movies, the lead protagonists have to be Punjabis (Remember Raj Malhotra, Simran etc?) C’mon guys, give us a break!!! This is a reality show and not a run off the mill bollywood movie. People from other parts of India are as interesting and funny as Punjabis. This Punjabi overdose has become boring and monotonous. Give us some variety.

2>You must be having impressive vocabulary of abusive words. You should have the ability to swear fluently and abundantly.
Street fighting skills such as shouting, bullying etc. are added advantage!
While watching Rodies or its interviews, one sound which is frequently heard is “beep”. Participants, judges, crew, host abundantly use abusive language on the show. Everyone on show swears around like it’s the vital necessity of their life.

3>You should be irritatingly arrogant.
Here, I’m not using the overly used cliché “attitude” because arrogance is all I can see in the Participants. This so called attitude seems nothing but the fake arrogance.

4>You should not have any talent and should not be an achiever in any sense.
In Chetan Bhagat’s terminology, you should be a “loser” :)

5>You should be endlessly able to bitch, bitch and bitch. More you back bite on the show, more “interesting”, you will turn out to be.

6>You should be highly insecure and jealous of people who are better than you.

7>You should be able to make friends with other losers and plot against those who seem more capable and smarter than you.

If you have above mentioned qualities, you can definitely get selected and even win the show! Just after the show, they telecast Making of Roadies which shows the real efforts and drama behind the scenes. It’s as entertaining as the show. Their team is completely wacky!

The only criticism that I have is the usage of abusive language on the show. It’s really not necessary to swear just to proclaim that you are Cool or Hot or whatever….If abusive language is eliminated from the show, it can appeal to larger audiences. Leave apart abusive language/behaviour and rest of the show is very entertaining.

Vaibhavi

The 3 Mistakes of My Life: A Big Mistake!!!

The reason why you would want to read “The 3 Mistakes of My Life” is that the author of this book is “Chetan Bhagat”, who’s arguably one of the India’s most popular and (arguably) talented contemporary writers. Just like his two previous books, this book is also based on young people’s lives, their friendships, struggles, etc.

In this book, Chetan Bhagat has played himself. One fine day, a young boy from Ahmadabad writes to him and mentions that he is committing suicide. Chetan Bhagat rushes to Ahmadabad, and after some efforts, manages to locate the boy. Luckily, the boy was saved and he was still alive. Startled by the young boy’s reckless act, he demands an explanation from the boy. The boy then starts explaining 3 mistakes of his life which led him to take such an extreme step.

The boy’s name is Govind. He lives in Ahmadabad with his mother. Govind has two best pals, Ishaan and Omi who later become his business partners. The story revolves around struggles of the three friends, their love lives and their fights. Later in the story, the author weaves religion, cricket and politics which are considered India’s biggest national obsessions.

This book seems more like Chetan Bhagat’s effort to establish himself as a bollywood scriptwriter rather than a genuine fiction. The story is fast paced but the sequences are too implausible. We know that this is a fictional story and not the realistic one, but the fiction has to have logic to be able to impact readers. What one finds in this book is sheer exaggeration and several loop holes in the plot. Climax of the story, which involves a violent fight, is nauseating and gives the feel of a B grade bollywood movie sequence. What’s with the protagonists fighting and killing like criminals? Not convincing at all. The climax fight was meant to be tragic (by author at least!!) but ends up seeming stupid. Even the death of one of the protagonist fails to infuse sympathy in readers due to over dramatization of the scene.

The writing lacks elegance. From literary standards, this can be classified as substandard quality writing. Also, the way Chetan Bhagat describes the female characters in this novel is highly chauvinistic and degrading. Here are some examples:

“Confident women make terrible daughter in laws.”

“Indian mothers have two tasks - to tell children to eat more or study more.”

Many more disgusting sentences can be found out in the book. Such views were certainly not expected from someone who’s IIT and IIM graduate.

The scene where three protagonists visit a beach in Australia and discuss girls’ bodies playing on the beach is extremely sickening. There is a thin line between sexy narration and gross, vulgar description. The author is not literary mature enough to handle the bold inscriptions with grace. As a result, some conversations between protagonists which are meant to be naughty turn out as vulgar.

Chetan Bhagat’s first novel “Five point Someone” is his best work so far. That was the genuine effort from an author and not a wannabe bollywood script writer. Thereafter, the qualities of his novels are declining. Considering the Box Office performance of “Hello” which was adapted from “One night at Call Centre” by Chetan Bhagat, he is better off as an author rather than a script writer. Or maybe Five Point Someone was a mere fluke! We do not want to lose a good author to a mediocre scriptwriter.

Watch a good movie instead of reading this Time Waster.

Vaibhavi

Slumdog Millionaire - Gross!!!

Slumdog Millionaire is a first India based movie (not Indian) which has won Four Golden Globe Awards and is a strong contender for the Academy Awards. Here comes a British Director (Danny Boyle), portrays life of Mumbai slums and gets laurels for it. The obvious question that comes in the minds of Indians is: What does this movie have that has made it win Golden Globes and kept it in a race for Oscars? Considering the poor records of our movies in the academy Awards.

Is it realistic? No. The movie might portray slum life but the plot can hardly be called “real”. Here is a “Slumdog” who speaks accented English and wins 20 million rupees in a game show, just by sheer luck. Does that sound real?

Is it entertaining? Hardly. Seeing Shit holes, gruesome abuse, poverty, dirt of slums and many more stereotypes about India that westerners have can not be entertaining for Indians at least.

Is the acting extra ordinary? No. Apart from the veterans like Anil Kapoor and Irfan Khan, the new actors are amateurs.

Is the music outstanding? Hardly. Rehman is undoubtedly a musical genius and he deserves every prestigious award on the planet, but he has done much better job in hindi and regional movies. Slumdog Millionaire does not have an extra ordinary soundtrack, if we compare it with Rehman’s previous work.

Then what is it that has helped this mediocre flick win so many laurels? It’s the crass portrayal of the Ugly side of India. Whatever scientific and developmental progress India makes, westerners want to and would like to believe that India is a piece of Garbage and this movie quite literally depicts that mindset. Every country, however developed is, has a dark side. But, when it comes to India, west want to see the “real India” which they think is filthy, poor, and ugly.

Movies that show our creativity, music, culture, scientific and technological progress never interest them. But show them shitty slums, filthy lanes and poor people, they’ll be more than happy to watch it. Poor India and poorer western mindset!!!

The movie plot portrays the journey of a Slum boy Jamaal Malik (Dev Patel, with British Accent) from being a “Slumdog” to the millionaire, by winning a television game show. Each question asked in a show seems to be related to gruesome experiences of the boy’s childhood. Boy manages to answer almost all the questions and is on the verge of winning the show. But then the show host (Anil Kapoor) gets him arrested because he believes that a “Slumdog” can not know the answers and should not win the fortune. (Does that make sense? This is the biggest loophole of this immensely flawed script) Anyways, the boy gets out of the jail, after a considerable torture by police, thanks to the change of heart of the policeman. (Irfan Khan). He then answers the last question and wins the show, despite Anil Kapoor’s reluctance.

And guess why the boy participated in the Game show? To find his childhood sweetheart and not for the money. He thought she must be watching the show. Now that seems ridiculous, but is so much like hindi movie love stories. Nothing “real” about it!!!

The only positive aspect of the movie is well edited script which makes the story fast paced. Please don’t waste your precious money for this movie. Watch it on a borrowed CD or DVD.

Vaibhavi

Book Review: In the name of honour

“In the Name of Honour” is an autobiography of Pakistani lady Mukhtar Mail. This book narrates her path from being a rape victim to becoming a social activist.

Mukhtar Mai is a resident of Meerwala village, situated in Punjab region of Pakistan. Through this book, she tells us her story of a brutal and soul crashing rape and her consequential fight for justice. She was gang raped by the members of higher caste as per the instruction of the tribal council of their village in order to “punish” their family for the supposed “crime” that her kid brother had committed. Her thirteen year old brother was found “talking” to a lady of higher cast which hampered their “honour”. To regain their lost honour and to impose their supremacy, they decide to teach Mukhtar’s family a lesson by raping her.

Most readers will find the above stated reason of the rape shocking and unbelievable. That’s because we belong to a civilised society governed by law and order. But, as you progress through the book, you get insights of the world of rampant illiteracy, poverty and tribal laws which in turn are influenced by rich and upper cast families.

Mukhtar tells us the horrific realities of her society where crimes against women are very widespread because of the medieval Islamic laws. She gives us a true picture of Pakistani society where being born as a woman is indeed a crime. Women are not considered human out there and that’s why are denied basic human rights. They are just properties of their families with which they attach “honour” and use them for their trivial disputes and revenges. This “honour” is nothing but an imaginary pride evolved from a fake ego. In this world, “honour” and crimes are bigger concerns than literacy and development.

In Pakistan, a woman has to have four male eye witnesses to prove a rape! This must be the most absurd criminal law in entire world. If there are four witnesses present; a rape would never be committed in the first place. Such laws add to the plight of Pakistani women who are anyways incapacitated by illiteracy and punishing social customs. The only option left to them after rape is committing suicide while the rapists live free and unaffected. Honour crimes are hardly punished in Pakistan. In fact, they are not even considered crime.
This is clearly not a civilised society. My heard bleeds all the Pakistani and Muslim women who are victims of brutal violence.

Mukhtar displays remarkable courage and copes with horrific mental, physical torture. She feels she has nothing to lose after the brutal crime and decides to punish her criminals who tormented her body as well as her soul.

In her journey of justice, she transforms herself from a docile woman to a well aware, strong social activist. Mukhtar chooses path of justice instead of suicide. Her dear friend Naseem helps her in her battle for justice. Her case creates furore in Pakistan as well as international community. After long and trying trials with judiciary system, she finally gets the justice; thanks to the worldwide media and NGOs. Her criminals are convicted. From the compensation money, she starts a school for girls in her village. She also provides helping hand to Pakistani women who have been subjected to violence. She chooses to live in her country despite threats to her life. Her dream is to create a society in her country where gender equality exists.

This book is a must real for all the women, no matter which part of world you live in or which religion you follow. The story of Mukhtar Mai is an inspiration and ray of hope to all the women who are victims of crime.

Movie Review of "Chak De India"

Like all the SRK movies, Chak De India also hit the movie halls with a lot of hype and expectations. And unlike the other hyped projects of bollywood, this movie DOES live up to all the expectations in each and every department. As far as sports movies goes, bollywood has not offered enough good options till the date, except for Lagaan and Iqubal. But, those movies enacted battle of their respective main characters and were far from realistic. Here, SRK and the hockey team is shown fighting against the authorities and the stereotype mindsets prevailing about hockey (and women’s sports in general), which makes it more believable and thereby, more entertaining. Here goes the review.

The Plot:

Kabir Khan (SRK) is a former hockey player, who happens to commit a sin by losing a final world cup match against Pakistan. After the big loss, his mistake in the final match costs him his career and his honor. He is accused of match fixing by media and his patriotism is questioned as well. After the gap of 7 years, he decides to earn his lost honor, and thereby, takes the challenge of preparing extremely weak Indian Women’s Hockey Team for world cup, by becoming team’s coach. The rest of the story revolves around how SRK and the hockey team achieve their goal of winning the World Cup.

Strengths:

This movie undoubtedly belongs to SRK. He effortlessly plays the character of a man who’s passionate about the game. SRK is so natural and flawless as a hockey coach that you get the feeling that no other bollywood actor is capable of performing such role so convincingly as him. He looks as fit as a real sportsman. His charisma and energy are perfectly suited for this role and he has done 100% justice to the character of Kabir Khan. His earnestness in the role comes from a fact that SRK has sports in his blood and it has resulted in a marvelous performance.

Rest of the cast of the movie consists of new and passable actors but the girls manage to perform their characters well without being overshadowed by the presence of SRK; thanks to the strong story line.

There is not a single dull moment in the movie and the flow of story is very lucid. Characterization is perfect and movie doesn’t fail to entertain you in any sequence; be it SRK building team spirit, girls’ fights, girls’ bonding or the hockey matches. The last shot of world cup final match is simply breath taking.

Kudos to “Yash Raj Films” for selecting sports as a subject in mainstream commercial hindi movie. Sports in India has not been given its due importance except for cricket, which is a virtual “religion”. And as far as women’s sports are concerned; lesser said better it is. In such scenario, filming a women’s hockey team battle is commendable. This movie is capable of reliving people’s lost interest in hockey. Director Shimit Amin has done a fantastic job.

Music is good and supports the movie well. All the girls have given a sincere performance and Punjabi kudi Balbir is quite entertaining.

Weaknesses:

None…As I felt

Watch this movie IF:

· You are a SRK fan. He is amazing and as long as he is on screen, you can’t keep your eyes off him. He looks Hot with his beard...

· You are NOT a SRK fan. His performance in this movie will explain you why he is called the “King Khan” of bollywood. He single handedly carries the movie on his “king sized” shoulders.

Avoid this movie IF:

· You only enjoy typical bollywood masaala movies containing love stories, songs and item numbers.

· Your brain lacks enough grey cells.

· You don’t enjoy sensible and creative cinema.

Verdict:

Don’t miss it. A good bollywood movie after a long time!


Thanks for reading the review and God bless u all.
Vaibhavi