Monday, June 18, 2012

A Bore!

I don’t like to dance, I don’t like to booze

I don’t eat like a pig, I don’t gossip

I don’t like dumb leisure

Oh! I am such a Bore


I don’t pretend, I don’t cheat

I’m politically incorrect

I’m certainly not perfect

Oh! I am such a Bore


I’m not rich, I’m not trendy

I’m not famous, I’m not entertainer

I’m not popular; I’m not a charmer

Oh! I am such a Bore


All I own is Peace of Mind and Love

But I want you to know

I’m proud to be a Bore

As I am not obsessed with MORE

 
Vaibhavi




Monday, April 30, 2012

Distorted Definitions

I’m presenting my version of “Distorted Definitions” which you’ll not find in conventional Dictionaries. These new definitions are the result of my unique brand of humour :)

Movie buffs : I’d rather call these people “Forced Movie buffs”; means, since they have nothing else to do in their free time, they keep watching movies. It’s so easy! Just buy tickets, and sit in comfort for 2 hours. No effort and no creativity required. 90% of the movie buffs fall in this category except for the people actually involved in the movie business and the professional movie reviewers.
I don’t consider movie watching as a “hobby”. Hobby is an activity which teaches you something creative or valuable. For example, singing, dancing or even exercising. Movie watching is merely a pass time activity.

Women’s Magazines : Magazines with plentiful ads, in which, rich and anorexic women pose to sell international brands of lingerie, perfumes, and designer clothes. Editors of such magazines are under the assumption that apart from “What to eat”, “How to dress” and, “How to have sex”, women have no other business.

Movie Stars : People who manage to look beautiful with the help of cosmetic surgeries and heavy make-up; having inflated egos and excessive money; and have right “contacts”.

Non Resident Indian (NRI): A financially and morally poor person who has embraced “Dollar” or “Pound” as God and hates everything “Indian” including himself/herself. Generally, suffers from an identity crisis and inferiority complex. Cannot be and should not be trusted.


Socialite : An excessively rich person who has accidentally got plenty of money through inheritance, family connections or marriage. Generally found dumb and pompous.

Job Interview : Meeting where your lying abilities are tested.


Management Graduate (MBA) : A self-proclaimed over achiever, having unreasonably high opinion of himself/herself and yet, having expertise in no particular area. Basically; no substance, all pretense.


Spouse : A trophy used for displaying in Facebook profile pictures.


Facebook Profile : A display of your life which you wish was true but is actually a desperate cover up for your sad existence!

And last but but not the least;


Pregnancy : A social stamp of potency of the involved man.


:)

Vaibhavi

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Caste


The world is vast, moving so fast
Inventions amaze me, never failing to daze me
I too dared to envision           
My uniqueness gave me my mission

I thought the world was my playground
But, my hierarchy made me deeply confound
I was in a box of which I was unaware
My identity was damaged beyond repair

My caste is my label
They do not care if I’m capable
My caste is my custom
There is no way to evade this dictum

I too crave for a heart filled with love
But, my caste is put all above
My human spirit is aghast
I’m just my caste

Monday, January 16, 2012

What it is to be a “Nobody”

Being a Nobody is highly common, but yet, extremely unpopular in this country. Nobody is a person who does not have fame, excessive money, excessive success; means does not have a name for himself/herself. A popular term for such person is “Aam Aadmi”. In a democracy, majoritarianism calls shots but even in a democratic country, being a part of “majority” does not necessarily means holding power. In fact, it’s the opposite. Majority and minority are tools, often termed as Vote Banks which come in picture only during elections.


So, how is it to be the opposite of Nobody? Being an opposite of Nobody means either you are a powerful person or related to one. In this scenario, your life will be smooth. You’ll have less struggles, and your path will be pretty much set. You’ll get what you want with relative ease. You’ll be judged less harshly and you’ll have more options in life. You’ll be admitted in elite schools and colleges, either in India or abroad where you’ll be polished. After you finish your “education”, you’ll get plenty of time to “figure out” what you want in life. Of course, in this break, you can have lots of overseas vacations to introspect. Once you decide what you want, you’ll ultimately join your powerful family profession. Your family goodwill will help you immensely and success for you will be just a matter of time.


The same pattern will work in your personal life as well. Members of the opposite sex will be eager to date/marry you and judging you as a human will be a non-requirement for them. Just your “name” will be enough to attract mates as well as friends. People will pretty much be oblivious to your real personality because that’s dispensable. However glaring vices you might have, it could be drug addiction, alcoholism, various other addictions and personality issues; you’ll still be regarded as a “good person”.


Now come to the other side of fence.

You are a Nobody in this country so you’ll have to be a fighter in a literal sense. You’ll struggle all your life so you’ll need to get tough. You’ll need to get street smart, argumentative, manipulative to get your work done. Right from school donations, to the prestigious colleges, you’ll have to compete with lakhs of others just to get an admission. Even after the admissions, life will not be simple. You’ll need to keep performing, keep getting high grades to prove yourself. You’ll keep working hard to graduate with high grades. When you do graduate, the bigger struggle starts. You’ll feel that a post graduation will increase your chances to stand out and so you impart your struggle for couple of more years. After post-graduation, you’ll realize that jobs are still difficult as there are lakhs of post graduates as well! You’ll get the job somehow with a descent salary. But wait, it’s not the happy ending. The bigger struggle will wait for you at office. You’ll have to constantly perform and compete at work; else your job will be in danger!

Your personal life will be in a mess most of the time. If you are single, you’ll have to face overly judgmental potential mates who’ll find everything about you wrong. Attracting and retaining mates will be harder. If you are married, your married life will be in a mess due to professional and social pressures. You’ll not be able to run away because of the ghostly scary EMIs. You’ll eventually turn religious and start making donations to religious establishments in a hope that the amount will be returned in your next pay hike! God will be your only saviour :)


Vaibhavi


Friday, January 6, 2012

Defeat


Defeat is not so evil, dear
It is a way of life that we bear
You can be safe once you surrender
The happiness will eventually render

Why take pain in creation
What you need is in abundance
Submission will fetch you accordance
Contentment will be your sentence

I try, make my way and yet comply
But the slave is what they crave
The universe is my shelter
And my spirit is my mentor

I gift your defeat to you
May your pleasures renew
My struggle is my ally
Your rules do not apply

Vaibhavi

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Poison

This is my attempt at poetry!

Here is a condition, that you will hold this notion
You will not retreat, not even cheat
Your loyalty will be rewarded
And the approval shall be awarded

We are the ones who made you and fed you
We are the ones who shielded you
The big bad world would have hounded you
The freedom will lure but with us, you are secure

Stay away from Alien, we will provide you Familiar
Familiar poison will suit you, alien bliss will cut you
The poison will grow in your vein, we will get our reign
We will protect you and disconnect your Soul

Our poison is your reality now, you’ll never know how
Your soul has dissolved and your blood is frozen
Do not worry, your future is chosen
You belong to your own poison

Vaibhavi