Monday, April 30, 2012

Distorted Definitions

I’m presenting my version of “Distorted Definitions” which you’ll not find in conventional Dictionaries. These new definitions are the result of my unique brand of humour :)

Movie buffs : I’d rather call these people “Forced Movie buffs”; means, since they have nothing else to do in their free time, they keep watching movies. It’s so easy! Just buy tickets, and sit in comfort for 2 hours. No effort and no creativity required. 90% of the movie buffs fall in this category except for the people actually involved in the movie business and the professional movie reviewers.
I don’t consider movie watching as a “hobby”. Hobby is an activity which teaches you something creative or valuable. For example, singing, dancing or even exercising. Movie watching is merely a pass time activity.

Women’s Magazines : Magazines with plentiful ads, in which, rich and anorexic women pose to sell international brands of lingerie, perfumes, and designer clothes. Editors of such magazines are under the assumption that apart from “What to eat”, “How to dress” and, “How to have sex”, women have no other business.

Movie Stars : People who manage to look beautiful with the help of cosmetic surgeries and heavy make-up; having inflated egos and excessive money; and have right “contacts”.

Non Resident Indian (NRI): A financially and morally poor person who has embraced “Dollar” or “Pound” as God and hates everything “Indian” including himself/herself. Generally, suffers from an identity crisis and inferiority complex. Cannot be and should not be trusted.

Socialite : An excessively rich person who has accidentally got plenty of money through inheritance, family connections or marriage. Generally found dumb and pompous.

Job Interview : Meeting where your lying abilities are tested.

Management Graduate (MBA) : A self-proclaimed over achiever, having unreasonably high opinion of himself/herself and yet, having expertise in no particular area. Basically; no substance, all pretense.

Spouse : A trophy used for displaying in Facebook profile pictures.

Facebook Profile : A display of your life which you wish was true but is actually a desperate cover up for your sad existence!

And last but but not the least;

Pregnancy : A social stamp of potency of the involved man.




Deep said...

thoroughly enjoyed your definitions, except NRI must be edited to ABCD.

Ganesh Jayaraman said...

very good post ... incisive and funny

Anonymous said...